OUTLAW GANG ATTEMPTS OSCAR ROBBERY!!

Extry! Extry! Here, hot off the presses, is a photo of the desperate outlaws trying to escape…

osc1

Seriously, never in all my Oscar-watching days have I seen them give the Best Picture award to the wrong picture!! Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway looked befuddled, when a Price Waterhouse official came and straightened out the snafu. Seems Warren was handed the “wrong” envelope when he announced LA LA LAND as the winner instead of MOONLIGHT! The Academy has vowed to look into the whole sordid affair, and will call in Inspector Clouseau to investigate!

Congrats to both films. More Oscar musings:

lala

*LA LA LAND may have not won Best Picture, but did bring home six statuettes, including Best Actress Emma Stone, and Best Director Damien Chazelle. I really need to see this film!

*It was a good night for our local New England artists. Besides Providence, R.I.’s Chazelle, local boy Casey Affleck (from right down the Cape in Falmouth) copped Best Actor for MANCHESTER BY THE SEA, while Viola Davis (across the border in Central Falls, R.I.) won Best Supporting Actress for FENCES.

viola

*Speaking of Davis, she gave the most emotional speech of the night on art, life, and love that was straight from the heart. Bravo, Viola!!

*Jimmy Kimmel was great in the host position, and thankfully he kept the politics to a minimum. What he did was funny (To Meryl Streep: “Nice dress. Is that Ivanka?”) without being overbearing. His running “feud” with Matt Damon is a modern-day version of the Jack Benny/Fred Allen shenanigans of the 1930’s-40’s and just as funny .

*The Oscar version of Kimmel’s “Mean Tweets” was hysterical.

*Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson electrified the audience with his stirring rendition of “You’re Welcome” from MOANA! Just kidding.

*Justin Timberlake really did electrify everyone by opening the show singing “Can’t Stop the Feeling” from TROLLS, and Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day”. Best opening in decades!

*The part where the people on the tour bus were brought into Hollywood’s Dolby Theater would have been a lot funnier if the tourists were all wearing ‘Make America Great Again’ hats, don’t you think?

*The women of filmland were all thinner than the mic stand! Ladies…this is not healthy. You all look like anorexic junkies! Please, go eat!! (Except you, Jennifer Anniston… you’re perfect!) (And you, Amy Adams. Ditto!)

*As usual I have issues with the “In Memoriam” segment. Apparently, so does producer Jan Chapman, whose picture was shown in place of costume designer Janet Patterson. Glad to hear you’re okay, Jan!!

*The Academy could’ve at least acknowledged the late Herschell Gordon Lewis, who virtually created an entire film genre on a $1.98 budget, though I knew they wouldn’t. But the fact they forget Madeleine LeBeau…

…unforgivable! Also omitted were Billy Chapin, Gloria DeHaven, Bernard Fox, Bert Kwouk, Theresa Saldana, William Schallert, Our Gang’s Jerry Tucker, Robert Vaughn, and Alan Young. I will give them credit for including Lupita Tovar, however.

*All in all, a better show than 2016. See you at the movies!

aoscar

 

Advertisements

4 Replies to “OUTLAW GANG ATTEMPTS OSCAR ROBBERY!!”

  1. Sir, I should inform you that you are mistaken in your belief that the Pink Panther films are fiction. There is no need to be embarrassed, this is a common mistake. I am none other than Detective Tony Pastry of New Scotland Yard and I have it on good authority from one of my secret informants, Hugh Pratt, that Blake Edwards intended these films to be an accurate portrait of the great detective. And my informant is very reliable: he recently sold me The Mona Lisa for a tidy sum and on my next visit to Paris I intend to collect it. He’s very big in The Louvre, you know. I have modelled my entire career on Clouseau’s work and it has not been easy, I can tell you. If you do not desist in misleading the public in this outrageous manner, I may have to put you under arrest.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s