And To All A Good Fright: THE MUNSTERS SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS (TV Movie 1996)

If you grew up in the “Monster Kid” generation like me… well, you’re old! That is, old enough to remember THE MUNSTERS, the silly 60’s sitcom about a family of monsters adjusting to life in suburbia. The show ran two seasons and inspired a feature film, 1966’s MUNSTER, GO HOME!, with Fred Gwynne (Herman, the Frankenstein’s Monster surrogate), Yvonne DeCarlo (Lily, a vampire resembling Carroll Borland in MARK OF THE VAMPIRE), Al Lewis (Grandpa, aka Count Dracula himself!), and Butch Patrick (Eddie, a wolf-boy) reprising their roles. The Munsters returned in a 1981 TV Movie THE MUNSTERS’ REVENGE with Gwynne, DeCarlo, and Lewis, then as a 1988-91 syndicated sitcom THE MUNSTERS TODAY, this time starring John Schuck (Herman), Lee Meriweather (Lily) and Howard Morton (Grandpa).

The fright family have proved durable, and were trotted out yet again for a 1996 holiday TV Movie, THE MUNSTERS SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS. I’m usually not a fan of reboots, being a stickler for the originals (as us old folks do!), but this one surprisingly stuck to the spirit of the classic series. Okay, so it’s not the original cast, but the actors involved captured the essence of The Munsters,  and the set recreates the Munster Mansion’s groovy gloom. Most importantly, it made me laugh out loud in places!

The story concerns little Eddie Munster (Bug Hall, THE LITTLE RASCALS) homesick for a traditional Transylvanian Christmas, and the family trying to cheer him up. Herman (Sam McMurray of TV’s DINOSAURS and KING OF QUEENS) takes a series of part time jobs to earn enough money to purchase the year’s hottest item, a Marquis De Sade Dungeon Action Playset! Lily (Ann Magnuson, MAKING MR. RIGHT) gets Eddie involved with decorating the house and yard, Transylvanian style. Marilyn (Elaine Hendrix), the “ugly duckling” of the bunch, sends Christmas invitations to long-lost family members (Phantom of the Opera, Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mummy, etc).

Grandpa (stand-up comic Sandy Baron, Jack Klompus on SEINFELD), who tells everyone within earshot he was “Eastern Europe’s preeminent alchemist”, uses his wizardry to conjure up snow in Southern California. But his experiment backfires, and instead conjures up none other than Santa Claus, along with a couple of naughty elves. Now Santa’s stuck in LA while Grandpa tries to figure out how to reverse the spell. The  naughty elves, sick and tired of working every Christmas and just wanting to party, try to slip a mickey in Santa’s figgy pudding, and Jolly Ol’ St. Nick transmogrifies into a giant fruitcake (Elf #!: “But what if, while we’re gone, someone tries to eat Santa?” Elf #2: “Never happen – NOBODY likes fruitcake!”). Can Grandpa’s mad science restore Santa in time to save Christmas Eve, and will little Eddie finally get his traditional Transylvanian Christmas?

There’s gobs of ghoulish humor and references to Ghosts of Classic Horror Past. The cast also features marvelous Mary Woronov as neighbor Edna Dimwitty, winner of the neighborhood Christmas decorating contest five years running, and out to stop Lily’s gruesome tableau from taking first prize. Producer John Landis (AN AMERCIAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE) is an old ‘Monster Kid’ himself, and certainly knows the territory. Veteran TV writers Ed Ferrara (who was a part time pro wrestler and worked behind the scenes for WWF & WCW in their 90’s heydays) and Kevin Murphy (later the head writer for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES) put together a fun filled script, and director Ian Emes, an animator noted for his work with Pink Floyd, aids tremendously with his bizarre visual concepts.

THE MUNSTERS SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS first aired on Fox , and is available online, streaming, and DVD. Sure, it gets a bit saccharine in the scenes between Eddie and Santa, but whaddaya want – it’s a Christmas TV Movie! I really enjoyed this pretty much forgotten holiday classic, certain to make a “scary little Christmas” for the ‘Monster Kid’ in everyone!

Have a Bucket of Fun!: THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE (1977)

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Satire ran rampant in the 70s. Magazines like MAD and NATIONAL LAMPOON were eagerly devoured by hungry youth disillusioned with the status quo, while SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE and MONTY PYTHON’S FLYING CIRCUS kept us glued to our TV sets for must-watch comic nonsense. Moviegoers were treated to such farcical fare as THE GROOVE TUBE (1974), TUNNELVISION (1976), and LOOSE SHOES (1980). But without question, the side-splittingly funniest of them all was THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE.

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KFM (as I’ll pretensiously call it) was the brainchild of David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker, those geniuses behind AIRPLANE! The trio of comic terrorists first got together as college chums in a theatrical troupe known as The Kentucky Fried Theater. Making a name for themselves as unbridled smart-alecs taking potshots at everything in sight, they developed this hilarious gumbo of outrageous skits with the help of a young director named John Landis, whose only previous credit in the director’s chair was the horror spoof SCHLOCK! (1971), which I’ll get around to viewing sooner rather than later (I know you’re all excited about that!)

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THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, like everything the Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker team does, takes guerilla comedy to the extreme. A series of unrelated events, KFM skewers local news, commercials, PSAs (Henry Gibson in a United Appeal for the Dead), TV shows, and movies. There’s some Previews of Coming Attractions thrown in, touting “Samuel L. Bronkowitz” producions of R-rated titillation pics (CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS IN TROUBLE), disaster movies (THAT’S ARMAGGEDON!!), and Blaxploitation (CLEOPATRA SCHWARTZ). The big set-piece is A FISTFUL OF YEN, a pitch-perfect kung-fu parody with leads that can’t pronounce their R’s (“Total consentwation”), cheesy sound effects, an evil villain bent on world domination, and an insanely funny conclusion.

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Filled with groan-inducing puns,non-sequiturs, ethnic humor, questionable taste, silly cameo roles (Bill Bixby, George Lazenby, Donald Sutherland, Tony Dow, porn star Uschi Digard, FAMOUS MONSTERS editor Forrest J Ackerman) and lots and lots of bare boobs, THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE is as edgy as it was when it was first made. It wouldn’t go over well with today’s easily offended, politically correct crowd. The film was a big hit with the “party animals” of the day. I remember seeing it at the movies stoned out of my gourd, like I was most of the time back then. But that was many moons ago, and today I’m…..

Nahhh, I’ll save the true confessions stuff if I ever want to start one of those “personal recovery journey” blogs. THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE  still makes me laugh my ass off! Stoned out of your gourd or stone-cold sober, just watch it and see. Unless you’re one of those overly sensitive types. Maybe you should go watch THE NOTEBOOK or something.